To a friend who angered me
I think your most valuable gift to me has been a space—a safe space—to share my voice. Through your willingness to hear, you have helped me to speak. I suspect that some days that may have felt like a mixed blessing to you—days when my voice spoke more pain and sadness and anger than I had ever been able to say and that erupted in ways that felt awfully sloppy and messy to me. There were times lately when I needed to say something just to say it without worrying whether you would hear it as pressure or as a desire for you to change. You heard me far more often than not, however. I remember being struck one time by how well you seemed to understand what I was saying. Then it hit me that your ability to hear so well seemed to coincide with the time that I started sharing more honestly and deeply. Funny how that works. . . .
—From a letter to a friend
Questions for reflection
When has someone’s honest and caring listening enabled you to express and transform your anger? What do you do when you are angry with someone whom is it not safe to share that anger with?
From Sacred Journeys © Jan L. Richardson. To pick up the thread of this week’s reflections, visit Monday’s post.
